Grand Plans: A Few New Lists In The Works

Just wanted to give some notice... I am working on two new lists.

1. In honor of yesterday's release of his 33rd studio album, I will be ranking all 33 of Bob Dylan's masterworks. I have almost all of them on vinyl and CD already so this one should be do-able. Hopefully I don't abandon the project when I reach his mediocre 1980s period, hah.

2. I will be ranking every MAJOR animated Disney movie. This includes the Pixar joint efforts as well. I have no idea when the movie "Up" comes out but it's possible that it will time out nicely with Up's release as well. I am torn as to how to define which movies make the list. I was thinking I would go off of the movies Disney declares as "Platinum Editions" but this designation already rules out Dumbo, Sword In The Stone, The Aristocats and Alice In Wonderland which I think most would put as must-haves with this list. Plus, I think the movie "Bolt" should make the cut but I think none of the sequels to any of the movies except Toy Story should be on it. I'm not trying to discriminate, I just think there are movies we think of as integral parts of the Disney Canon that don't include the two sequels to The Little motherfucking Mermaid. Perhaps it will be strictly theatrical releases minus a few of the less important ones here and there.

So yeah, here's the list I have in mind (chronologically), let me know which films I am forgetting:
Snow White
Pinocchio
Fantasia
Dumbo
Bambi
Cinderella
Alice In Wonderland
Peter Pan
Lady And The Tramp
Sleeping Beauty
101 Dalmatians
The Sword In The Stone
The Jungle Book
The Aristocats
Robin Hood
The Fox And The Hound
The Little Mermaid
Beauty And The Beast
Aladdin
The Lion King
Pocahontas
Toy Story
A Bug's Life
Toy Story 2
Monsters, Inc
Finding Nemo
The Incredibles
Cars
Ratatouille
WALL-E
Up

I left out The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh, all regular animation films released after the Pixar/Disney merge, all films that are half live action and a slew of ones I'm not familiar with including the ones with Spanish names (3 caballeros, saludos amigos, etc.) So, if you think one of the omitted films should make the list or that I have some films on the list that shouldn't be on there, let me know so I can make this thing make sense. Keep in mind we're already over 30 films. Maybe I could exclude the Pixar films for a later list?

Three quick album recommendations for 2009 which might be better than anything I heard in 2008:
Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion (indie rock, kinda trippy arrangements)
Bob Dylan - Together Through Life (look past the voice to find sense of humor, brilliance)
Manchester Orchestra - Everything To Nothing (alt rock, atlanta band i've been blabbing about for years now that is apparently getting national play and is somehow now huge - sophomore album - go buy it)

Lastly, just wanted to share more insignificant info on my Samuel Adams obsession. We are up to a ridiculous 39 beers. The latest being three from the 2008 LongShot Homebrew Contest. I wasn't as big of a fan of this year's homebrew winners as I was in recent years but I can see why they were chosen. The list:

Boston Lager
Sam Adams Light
180 (Boston Restaurant Exclusive)
1790 Root Beer Brew
Black Lager
Blackberry Witbier
Boston Ale
Brown Ale
Cherry Wheat
Chocolate Bock
Cranberry Lambic
Cream Stout
Double Bock
George Washington Porter
Hefeweizen
Holiday Porter
Honey Porter
Imperial Pilsner (Hallertau)
Imperial Series Double Bock
Imperial Series Porter
Imperial Series White
Irish Red
James Madison Dark Wheat Ale
Longshot Boysenberry Wheat
Longshot Cranberry Wit
Longshot Dortmunder Export
Longshot Double IPA
Longshot Grape Pale Ale
Longshot Old Ale
Longshot Traditional Bock
Longshot Weizenbock
Octoberfest
Old Fezziwig Ale
Pale Ale
Scotch Ale
Summer Ale
Traditional Ginger Honey Ale
White Ale
Winter Lager

Ranking Everything: The Films of Stanley Kubrick

At long last I have finished the Kubrick project. I ran through ten of the eleven movies very quickly and then got caught up trying to get a hold of the eleventh and having enough time to watch it.
Again, this project was extremely rewarding. The films of Stanley Kubrick are, of course, excellent and revisiting them is always something I enjoy. I learned a lot from this round, including a sense of the growth Kubrick had throughout his career. Just a head's up, I used the 1956 film "The Killing" as the starter of the list as I did not have access to anything older. As far as I can tell this list is one film short of what is generally acknowledged as Kubrick's mainstream body of work. Anyways, here we go.

1. Dr. Strangelove
You know, this list was very, very hard to put together. I mean on the list of Kubrick films are 3-6 films that people consider their single favorite movie of all time. How do you pick a #1, let alone rank them? Well, let me tell you, it's difficult to rank them but picking a #1 was surprisingly easy. Dr. Strangelove is one of my favorite films of all time and the runaway choice for my favorite Stanley Kubrick film. It is not the funniest film of all time but it is, without a (personal) doubt, the BEST comedy ever made. Much has been written about the depth and creativity of this film and I am inclined to agree. I don't laugh my ass off watching it but afterwards I feel like I spent the past two hours laughing. It, along with Monty Python's Life Of Brian, has one of the two most rewarding "punchlines" in film history. For lack of a better explanation, I am trying to say that it does a beautiful job setting up a wonderful/hilarious ending and then hammers it home for one of the great scenes in film history. The performances are top notch and the fact that this came out when it did (very shortly after Bay of Pigs) adds to its legacy. My only complaint - and it is a minor one - is the oddly slow pace to this film. I can see some ways in which the pace builds the humor/suspense but at times it borders on challenging the attention span. An interesting choice by our director.

2. Lolita
Entering this project I predicted that this film would finish last on my list. Perhaps I was not cynical or perverted enough the first time I watched it to truly appreciate its power. This film, much like the source material, turns us all into perverts. Kubrick forces us to accept the lead actress as a sexual object as well as any director has ever turned any actress into such a thing. It is eerie how well this subject suits the director. I think if he had never made it and we were looking back historically at who would have been able to handle such subject matter the list would have two names: Hitchcock and Kubrick and only Kubrick would have pushed this many borders. I admittedly do not know much about the history of the making of this film but I imagine Kubrick's battles with the censors being frequent and loud. Then again, that is probably the case with all of these films. Anyways, like I said, this viewing changed my perspective on the film and, to some degree, how I view sex and my attitude about the male interest in younger women.

3. The Shining
I am not a horror movie buff. For all of the movies I have seen, my horror film resume is relatively small. It mostly consists of the early German horror essentials, the Universal Studios originals and the occassional Hitchcock horror flick. These people proved that you can scare your viewers and maintain your artistic integrity and very few others have followed in their footsteps. Kubrick, however, does follow in their footsteps in this way with this movie. He, at the same time, opens up the world to even more crappy horror flicks. Here we have Jack Nicholson in one of the 3-4 roles that define his apex and, although nothing about this movie actually SCARES me, it probably comes closer than any film that is not some uber-reality horror flick. What I love about this movie is also what I hate about it: the scenes of absolutely terrifying images that have nothing to do with the plot. I am in the camp that says a river of blood flowing down a hallway has absolutely nothing to do with the plot of the movie. It does, however, hammer home a MOOD that Kubrick has created. The same goes for spoiler alert?) discovering the word "redrum" is "murder" spelled backward and, ultimately, everything the twin girls do. This practice has been imitated to some degree by almost every horror director since and when the risky technique meets a film already lacking in the plot department it becomes chaos. This, then, evolved into the torture/squeamish films of today that make little effort to have a plot at all in favor of providing your horror fix in gut wrenching imagery. The Shining, for me, is the only film in which this tactic has ever actually worked and it works well.

4. Spartacus
This is probably not a popular choice to make Kubrick's top five. Truth be told, it is not really "Kubrick unleashed" but it has his name on it as much as the others and it is, in fact, my fifth favorite of those with said billing. The legend goes that Kirk Douglas was pissed that he did not get cast as Ben Hur and wanted to make his own Ben Hur-type epic. Thus he bankrolled this film and brought in the guy who directed his last war epic, Paths of Glory, to do it. The two supposedly fought over tons of decisions with this film as both had a lot riding on it and the end result is, in my opinion, significantly better than Ben Hur itself. It is sort of odd to see Kubrick's name attached to a traditional hollywood blockbuster and with each scene you can see daring directorial decisions with a tinge of censorship. Douglas gets his hokier moments in while Kubrick's stylistic decisions highlight what, I would imagine, was a very restrictive script. Probably the second most underrated Kubrick film.

5. 2001: A Space Odessey
The historical importance of a film is generally something that matters a lot to me but in this case I really do not care. Forget that it inspired, umm, everything. It is just a beautiful film. The imagery throughout is astounding. I cannot fathom something with this little plot being so interesting. This is the film equivalent to watching an amazing sunset. Although it still packs a big wallop today I dare say it is a little dated in that our understanding of outer space is so much greater that we forget Kubrick was guessing on a lot of things like "What would THIS look like in space?" and "what would happen if someone did THIS in space?" The film is beautiful from start to finish but, admittedly, there are some parts I just don't care about. The warp speed sequence is artistically interesting but after one viewing I no longer care beyond the "this was way ahead of its time" aspect.

6. Paths of Glory
It is rare that a film is both a war action movie and a courtroom-style drama but this early gem deserves placement in both categories. Although I do not consider myself strictly anti-war, I have a fond appreciation for this, perhaps the greatest anti-war film of all time. The first Kubrick/Douglas pairing is great. Oddly, it seems as though Kubrick had more freedom to push the envelope here than in their second pairing but it may actually be the script that truly pushes the envelope. It is simultaneously interesting and exciting as Kubrick shows a flair for suspense while providing us with a very un-hollywood ending. This is perhaps the first war movie to be inspired by film noir. Speaking of which...

7. The Killing
This film noir gem is easily Kubrick's #1 most underrated film. Were it not for the lack of star power and, perhaps, a few grating characters this would widely be known as one of the 10 seminal film noir movies of all time. Again we have a fascinating story throughout with a great film noir Chinatown-esque ending. The movie is not as logically sound as his later films (if you had that much money, why not just wait, sort it out and get a later flight?) but considering when he made it (this is the earliest of his films on this list - 1956) the achievement seems all the more impressive. Rarely does this movie remind you that you are watching the work of anything but a cinematic master.

8. Full Metal Jacket
Full Metal Jacket may well be the most popular of Kubrick's films among my friends. The absolutely iconic first third of this movie offers laughs, incredible characters and one memorable scene after another. Because the next two thirds are like a completely different movie - and being completely different from the first third cannot possibly be a good thing - many write it off. To me, the second section of this movie is amazing. Here we have Kubrick post-Clockwork Orange where he showed the depths of staying away from the mainstream. Now he embraces the Scorsesean idea of pop songs contributing to a movie and cleverly implements pop songs throughout. I could be wrong about this but I think the last two thirds of this movie are what Kubrick originally wanted to make while the first third was him catching lightning in a bottle with an absolutely incredible assortment of characters and lines. The popularity of the opening sequence leads me to think people would be content with watching the drill sergeant yell at his grunts for two hours. The reason this film does not rank higher in my eyes - the eyes of someone who loves both parts equally - is the fact that this so-called problem could easily have been fixed if the Private Joker character had a comparable amount of screen time to the Gomer Pyle character. I think it is such a fantastic Kubrick thing to do to cut your two main characters out of a film before it even gets rolling (thank you Hitchcock) but this one actually does suffer at the transition as Private Joker actually was portrayed as a very minor part of this film. A supporting actor, if you will.

9. A Clockwork Orange
I feel like I am entering dangerous territory here by putting this film as low as ninth on such a list. Any movie that thousands of people regard as their favorite of all time probably should not rank ninth on any one person's list of its director's works. Personally I think this speaks more to the quality of the Kubrick body of work than to any personal bias I might have toward this movie. I think there are three stages, maybe more, that people go through with this movie. The first stage is being horrified and turned off by its graphic content, revolutionary ideas and all-around upsettingness. The second is accepting these things as genius and worshipping the man behind them. The third is where I am at, which is a more existential approach in that I have been through the the first two and now consider this film strictly as "here is what Kubrick was trying to do with this." If you've been reading all along you know that is sort of how I approach all films and on this one, specifically, it hurts the ranking a bit. This film ultimately ends up feeling like Kubrick is putting himself on camera and saying "hey, look what I can get away with" and while the content still makes the film historic and fascinating I feel like it is cheapened on the whole by the context. I mean if I was a director and had earned the right to do whatever I wanted with my films I would probably do the same thing, but that does not save this one for me in that regard.

10. Eyes Wide Shut
Again, I feel like putting a movie as good as this one so low on the list is sort of criminal. This is the perfect example of "worse than the rest of Kubrick's but better than everyone else's." I know the past few years have caused many people to rethink the acting of Tom Cruise and I must confess that I might be a victim of this reimagining but he really takes away from this movie for me. Otherwise the problems I have with this movie are not the same that others have. I really LIKE the non-ending. I really LIKE the way this movie makes us feel. The subject matter is fascinating and I think movie embodies (if not defines) what suspense was in the 1990s. I really love the underlying theme which is: don't be naive to the effed up underbelly to our society. Even today there are swingers groups all over my city of Atlanta that we hear relatively little about. What a great title: you think your eyes are open but they are really closed. The execution of this film may not be great but the ideas behind it are incredibly powerful.

11. Barry Lyndon
Last but not least we have Barry freakin Lyndon. I think this film is last on most people's imaginary lists for Kubrick. With the exception of maybe 2001 it is probably the most technically sound film of his career but it just... it is not very interesting. I mean it's just a really well made version of a really, really normal movie. The pace is notoriously slow and the attention to detail is notoriously meticulous. All of these things are just well and fine but I can't see a reason to watch this one over and over. I know I have not watched it for the last time in my life but, unlike the others, I can't honestly say I look forward to the next opportunity to watch it (unless of course it is in an actual movie theatre - where I would like to rewatch all of his films).

So there we have it. Eleven Kubrick films ranked, yanked and spanked. Or something like that. This took me a really long time to put together so I would definitely appreciate some comments, feedback and whatnot. Thanks in advance for that.

Currently working on a few other lists but it will probably be at least another week before I can get a post up. Still taking suggestions for future lists.

Seventy Freakin Movies

Seventy. That's a lot of movies. Plus we, at long last, have a brand new #1 movie of the year. Considering it's been the same #1 since I first posted the list, I'd say this is pretty sweet. I've seen a lot of the better 2008 movies since we last met, blog readers, so check out the top of the list and whatnot. Also, effing comment already.

Announcement: I have a 2nd blog that appeals to you all even less than this one: http://scarcerecords.blogspot.com/

I don't know why you'd want to read me rambling on about records (vinyl) but I do it anyway.

About a week ago I started working out of the "South Metro" office of Neighbor Newspapers. I now cover Fayette, Henry, Clayton and South Fulton counties. Alone. This amounts to me being very busy at work but it's not so bad.

I am addicted to Twitter. I am also quite fond of eBay. I've got to start using this blog to share shit I find online because I can't think of any good reason for you to be reading it.

Duke basketball is #1 in the country and I am firmly convinced they are the best team in the country at the moment. What they did to Maryland the other day was amazing. I can't wait to see what they do to Wake Forest tomorrow night and then the hurting they'll put on UNC in a few weeks. I love this team as much as any Duke team since 2002.

Soooooooo here's the 70 movies, surrounded by a few of my favorite GIF files. Enjoy.

70. Happening, The
69. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
68. Eye, The
67. Mamma Mia
66. Jumper
65. Promotion, The
64. Family That Preys, The
63. Charlie Bartlett
62. Zombie Strippers
61. Drillbit Taylor
60. Definitely, Maybe
59. Incredible Hulk, The
58. Journey To The Center Of The Earth
57. House Bunny, The
56. Baby Mama
55. Semi-Pro
54. Tale Of Despereaux, The
53. Hancock
52. Meet Dave
51. Hamlet 2
50. Hellboy 2
49. What Happens In Vegas
48. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
47. Step Brothers
46. Wanted
45. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
44. Yes Man
43. Marley & Me
42. Zack And Miri Make A Porno
41. Love Guru, The
40. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
39. Fools Gold
38. Pineapple Express
37. Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, The
36. Appaloosa
35. Choke
34. Valkyrie
33. In Bruges
32. Australia
31. Happy-Go-Lucky
30. Leatherheads
29. Felon
28. Kung Fu Panda
27. Horton Hears A Who
26. Tropic Thunder
25. Rocker, The
24. Boy A
23. Deception
22. Revolutionary Road
21. Vicky Cristina Barcelona
20. Vantage Point
19. Milk
18. Get Smart
17. Role Models
16. Wrestler, The
15. Bolt
14. Let The Right One In
13. Gran Torino
12. Doubt
11. Burn After Reading
10. Iron Man
9. Changeling
8. Seven Pounds
7. Frost/Nixon
6. Man On Wire
5. My Blueberry Nights
4. Dark Knight, The
3. Synecdoche New York
2. WALL-E
1. Slumdog Millionaire

My Oscar Predictions

Here are my 2008 Oscar picks. The nominees just came out. I'm not overly thrilled with some of the choices but here are my predictions. I'll link you back to this post after all of my predictions come true. I copied and pasted from IMDB so if the text seems huge or links are involved then forgive me.

81st Annual Academy Awards^®

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Nominees:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Ceán Chaffin, Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall

Frost/Nixon (2008): Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, Eric Fellner

Milk (2008): Bruce Cohen, Dan Jinks

The Reader (2008): Nominees to be determined

Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Christian Colson

MY PICK: Slumdog Millionaire

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Nominees:

Richard Jenkins for The Visitor (2007/I)

Frank Langella for Frost/Nixon (2008)

Sean Penn for Milk (2008)

Brad Pitt for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler (2008)

MY PICK: Frank Langella (But I'd wager on Penn)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Nominees:

Anne Hathaway for Rachel Getting Married (2008)

Angelina Jolie for Changeling (2008)

Melissa Leo for Frozen River (2008)

Meryl Streep for Doubt (2008/I)

Kate Winslet for The Reader (2008)

MY PICK: Angelina Jolie (But I'd wager on Winslet)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Nominees:

Josh Brolin for Milk (2008)

Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder (2008)

Philip Seymour Hoffman for Doubt (2008/I)

Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight (2008)

Michael Shannon for Revolutionary Road (2008)

MY PICK: Philip Seymour Hoffman

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Nominees:

Amy Adams for Doubt (2008/I)

Penélope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)

Viola Davis for Doubt (2008/I)

Taraji P. Henson for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

Marisa Tomei for The Wrestler (2008)

MY PICK: Taraji P. Henson (The ONLY Oscar this movie deserves)

Best Achievement in Directing

Nominees:

Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

Stephen Daldry for The Reader (2008)

David Fincher for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

Ron Howard for Frost/Nixon (2008)

Gus Van Sant for Milk (2008)

MY PICK: Danny Boyle

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen

Nominees:

Frozen River (2008): Courtney Hunt

Happy-Go-Lucky (2008): Mike Leigh

In Bruges (2008): Martin McDonagh

Milk (2008): Dustin Lance Black

WALL·E (2008): Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter, Jim Reardon

MY PICK: WALL-E

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published

Nominees:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Eric Roth, Robin Swicord

Doubt (2008/I): John Patrick Shanley

Frost/Nixon (2008): Peter Morgan

The Reader (2008): David Hare

Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Simon Beaufoy

MY PICK: Slumdog Millionaire

Best Achievement in Cinematography

Nominees:

Changeling (2008): Tom Stern

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Claudio Miranda

The Dark Knight (2008): Wally Pfister

The Reader (2008): Roger Deakins, Chris Menges

Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Anthony Dod Mantle

MY PICK: Slumdog Millionaire (but Changeling is equally deserving)

Best Achievement in Editing

Nominees:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Angus Wall, Kirk Baxter

The Dark Knight (2008): Lee Smith

Frost/Nixon (2008): Daniel P. Hanley, Mike Hill

Milk (2008): Elliot Graham

Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Chris Dickens

MY PICK: Slumdog Millionaire

Best Achievement in Art Direction

Nominees:

Changeling (2008): James J. Murakami, Gary Fettis

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Donald Graham Burt, Victor J. Zolfo

The Dark Knight (2008): Nathan Crowley, Peter Lando

The Duchess (2008): Michael Carlin, Rebecca Alleway

Revolutionary Road (2008): Kristi Zea, Debra Schutt

MY PICK: Changeling (But I'd wager on Rev Road)

Best Achievement in Costume Design

Nominees:

Australia (2008): Catherine Martin

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Jacqueline West

The Duchess (2008): Michael O'Connor

Milk (2008): Danny Glicker

Revolutionary Road (2008): Albert Wolsky

MY PICK: The Duchess (But I'd wager on Ben Button)

Best Achievement in Makeup

Nominees:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Greg Cannom

The Dark Knight (2008): John Caglione Jr., Conor O'Sullivan

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008): Mike Elizalde, Thomas Floutz

MY PICK: Benjamin Button (reluctantly)

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score

Nominees:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Alexandre Desplat

Defiance (2008): James Newton Howard

Milk (2008): Danny Elfman

Slumdog Millionaire (2008): A.R. Rahman

WALL·E (2008): Thomas Newman

MY PICK: Thomas Newman - WALL-E

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song

Nominees:

Slumdog Millionaire (2008): A.R. Rahman, Gulzar("Jai Ho")

Slumdog Millionaire (2008): A.R. Rahman, Maya Arulpragasam("O Saya")

WALL·E (2008): Peter Gabriel, Thomas Newman("Down to Earth")

MY PICK: Down To Earth (WALL-E)

Best Achievement in Sound

Nominees:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce, Mark Weingarten

The Dark Knight (2008): Ed Novick, Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo

Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke, Resul Pookutty

WALL·E (2008): Tom Myers, Michael Semanick, Ben Burtt

Wanted (2008): Chris Jenkins, Frank A. Montaño, Petr Forejt

MY PICK: WALL-E (Wouldn't be surprised to see the Dark Knight take this one)

Best Achievement in Sound Editing

Nominees:

The Dark Knight (2008): Richard King

Iron Man (2008): Frank E. Eulner, Christopher Boyes

Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Tom Sayers

WALL·E (2008): Ben Burtt, Matthew Wood

Wanted (2008): Wylie Stateman

MY PICK: WALL-E (Same as above about TDK)

Best Achievement in Visual Effects

Nominees:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton, Craig Barron

The Dark Knight (2008): Nick Davis, Chris Corbould, Timothy Webber, Paul J. Franklin

Iron Man (2008): John Nelson, Ben Snow, Daniel Sudick, Shane Mahan

MY PICK: Benjamin Button (unfortunately)

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

Nominees:

Bolt (2008): Chris Williams, Byron Howard

Kung Fu Panda (2008): John Stevenson, Mark Osborne

WALL·E (2008): Andrew Stanton

MY PICK: WALL-E

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

Nominees:

Der Baader Meinhof Komplex (2008)(Germany)

Entre les murs (2008)(France)

Revanche (2008)(Austria)

Okuribito (2008)(Japan)

Vals Im Bashir (2008)(Israel)

MY PICK: Vals Im Bashir (aka Waltz With Bashir)

Best Documentary, Features

Nominees:

The Betrayal - Nerakhoon (2008): Ellen Kuras, Thavisouk Phrasavath

Encounters at the End of the World (2007): Werner Herzog, Henry Kaiser

The Garden (2008/I): Scott Hamilton Kennedy

Man on Wire (2008): James Marsh, Simon Chinn

Trouble the Water (2008): Tia Lessin, Carl Deal

MY PICK: Man On Wire

Best Short Film, Animated

Nominees:

La Maison en Petits Cubes: Kunio Kato

Ubornaya istoriya - lyubovnaya istoriya (2007): Konstantin Bronzit

Oktapodi (2007): Emud Mokhberi, Thierry Marchand

Presto (2008): Doug Sweetland

This Way Up (2008): Alan Smith, Adam Foulkes

MY PICK: Presto

Make That Sixty

All sorts of good stuff going on lately. I interviewed for a new, awesome job (more on that if the news is good). I have been watching a ton of great movies. My college basketball team is unexpectedly the best in the ACC and 2nd best in the country. Their rival is unexpectedly the worst in the ACC. My baseball team just signed an icon from the city I live in (quite possibly the greatest conversation piece ever). Even my personal life has taken an unexpectedly good turn.

It only took a few days but I've seen 10 more movies since the last post. We're up to 60 on the year and another 10 should be coming just as quick (I've had a surprising amount of free time and a lot of people who like doing this crap with me).

60. Happening, The
59. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
58. Eye, The
57. Mamma Mia
56. Jumper
55. Promotion, The
54. Charlie Bartlett
53. Zombie Strippers
52. Drillbit Taylor
51. Definitely, Maybe
50. Incredible Hulk, The
49. Journey To The Center Of The Earth
48. House Bunny, The
47. Baby Mama
46. Semi-Pro
45. The Tale Of Despereaux
44. Hancock
43. Meet Dave
42. Hamlet 2
41. Hellboy 2
40. What Happens In Vegas
39. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
38. Step Brothers
37. Wanted
36. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
35. Love Guru, The
34. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
33. Fools Gold
32. Pineapple Express
31. Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, The
30. Appaloosa
29. Valkyrie
28. In Bruges
27. Australia
26. Happy-Go-Lucky
25. Felon
24. Kung Fu Panda
23. Horton Hears A Who
22. Tropic Thunder
21. Boy A
20. Deception
19. Revolutionary Road
18. Vicky Cristina Barcelona
17. Vantage Point
16. Get Smart
15. Role Models
14. The Wrestler
13. Bolt
12. Let The Right One In
11. Gran Torino
10. Burn After Reading
9. Iron Man
8. Changeling
7. Seven Pounds
6. Frost/Nixon
5. Man On Wire
4. My Blueberry Nights
3. Dark Knight, The
2. Synecdoche New York
1. WALL-E

The 50 I've Seen So Far

As promised, I won't post the damned movie list unless there are at least 5 or 10 new movies to add to it. Here we have 10 since the last update. As always, they are bolded. These 10 were among the best of the year as we get into Oscar season.

In fact, 5 of the 10 make the cutoff for must buy (the cutoff is between Get Smart and Vantage Point). Even the worst of the 10 (Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa) was a really good one.

I'll be seeing Choke, Valkyrie, Frost/Nixon, Seven Pounds, Milk, The Wrestler, Appaloosa, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, The Duchess, Revolutionary Road, The Tale Of Despereaux and a few others in the next week or two so the top of the list should change significantly if the reviews of these hold up. I have enjoyed the hell out of this project and hope to keep it going for at least 50 more.

50. Happening, The
49. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
48. Eye, The
47. Mamma Mia
46. Jumper
45. Promotion, The
44. Charlie Bartlett
43. Zombie Strippers
42. Drillbit Taylor
41. Definitely, Maybe
40. Incredible Hulk, The
39. Journey To The Center Of The Earth
38. House Bunny, The
37. Baby Mama
36. Semi-Pro
35. Hancock
34. Meet Dave
33. Hellboy 2
32. What Happens In Vegas
31. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
30. Step Brothers
29. Wanted
28. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
27. Love Guru, The
26. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
25. Fools Gold
24. Pineapple Express
23. Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, The
22. In Bruges
21. Australia
20. Happy-Go-Lucky
19. Felon
18. Kung Fu Panda
17. Horton Hears A Who
16. Tropic Thunder
15. Deception
14. Vantage Point
13. Get Smart
12. Role Models
11. Bolt
10. Let The Right One In
9. Gran Torino
8. Burn After Reading
7. Iron Man
6. Changeling
5. Man On Wire
4. My Blueberry Nights
3. Dark Knight, The
2. Synecdoche New York
1. WALL-E

Finally, The Best Of 2008

That's right, it's the best of 2008. As the coolest person you all know, I feel as though my opinion should be valued more highly than others. And as such we have the best of 2008. These aren't actually opinions though, they are facts. Every statement in this post is as true as the statement "the Red Sox play in Boston" or "Georgia Tech over Georgia was a fluke."

Without further ado... (Some of the subject ideas were stolen from McCluca, so big ups)

Favorite Female Celebrity: Anne Hathaway
The reason Get Smart is in my 2008 top 10.

Favorite Male Celebrity: Clint Eastwood
Changeling? Gran Torino? Still bad ass? Yes.

Top News Moment: Sarah Palin and my subsequent boner.

Top Sports Moment: Game 5 of the ALCS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wAlL988Z_U&feature=related
Red Sox down by 7 runs in the seventh inning facing elimination win the game
2nd place: UGA Basketball wins SEC Championship in staggering fashion
3rd place: Kansas kicks the piss out of UNC in the Final Four (I will no doubt remember this long after I've forgotten every other sports moment of 2008)

Favorite Athlete: Jon Lester... what a year.
By sport: MLB (besides Lester): Jonathan Papelbon, NBA: Mario West, NFL: Adrian Peterson, NCAA FB: Knowshon Moreno, NCAA BB: Greg Paulus (but whatshisface from Kansas who had the monster game against UNC deserves love as does Sundiata Gaines), NHL: Ilya Kovalchuk, NCAA Baseball: Josh Fields & Dean Weaver...

Five Best Movies (So Far - I've seen 45 of them this year which is about 35 more than most of you, but intend to see 100 more):
1. WALL-E
2. Synecdoche, New York
3. The Dark Knight
4. My Blueberry Nights
5. Changeling

Three Worst Movies:
1. The Happening
2. Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
3. The Eye

Best Blog:
"How Hi The Fi?" http://howhithefi.blogspot.com/

Five Best Albums (no order - this is also subject to mass overhaul)
Girl Talk - Feed The Animals
T.I. - Paper Trail
The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
TV On The Radio - Dear Science
Flight Of The Conchords - Flight Of The Conchords

Favorite Hip Hop Song:
T.I. (Feat Rihanna) - Live Your Life

Best Live Band I Saw This Year:
Of Montreal

Favorite 2008 Book Of The Very Few I've Read So Far:
John Hodgman - More Information Than You Require

Funniest Internet Video:
Andy Samberg & Co: Jizz In My Pants (SNL)
2nd Place: Bo Burnham - I'm Bo Yo

Favorite Things I Got Into In 2008 That Don't Necessarily Have Anything To Do With 2008:
Cormac McCarthy, The Office, Flight Of The Conchords, Book Collecting, The City Of Atlanta, Octane Coffee, The Hawks, The Falcons, The Thrashers, cigars etc, and, oh yeah, this blog.

Hopes For 2009: I hope the blog continues to grow and turns into something more interesting. I hope the Red Sox win the World Series, Duke wins the NCAA Championship, UGA wins the BCS, Jeff Gordon wins the Sprint Cup, Love, New Music from Bob Dylan, Sufjan Stevens, DMB... New book by Cormac McCarthy... The movie "The Road" is the best of the year, a high paying job, losing weight, staying healthy, strengthening friendships, seeing more independent films, broadening my horizons further, having time to read my books, making lots of money, figuring it all out and continuing my 24 1/2 year dominance of everything. Happy new year, bigness.

Finally, A Crappier Movie Than Indy Jones

34. Happening, The
33. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
32. Mamma Mia
31. Charlie Bartlett
30. Drillbit Taylor
29. Definitely, Maybe
28. Incredible Hulk, The
27. Journey To The Center Of The Earth
26. Baby Mama
25. Semi-Pro
24. Hancock
23. Meet Dave
22. Hellboy 2
21. What Happens In Vegas
20. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
19. Step Brothers
18. Wanted
17. Love Guru, The
16. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
15. Fools Gold
14. Pineapple Express
13. Australia
12. Kung Fu Panda
11. Horton Hears A Who
10. Tropic Thunder
9. Vantage Point
8. Role Models
7. Get Smart
6. Burn After Reading
5. Iron Man
4. Changeling
3. My Blueberry Nights
2. Dark Knight, The
1. WALL-E

The Happening is astronomically bad. It's so bad you watch it to laugh at how bad it is. It is undoubtedly the basis for the Mark Wahlberg "Say hi to your mother for me" sketch on SNL. It's bad from the opening scene all the way through. I can't say it has NO redeeming qualities (it is definitely well shot and the budget clearly isn't small) but wow it's rough.

Four More...

26. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
25. Charlie Bartlett
24. Drillbit Taylor
23. Definitely, Maybe
22. Incredible Hulk, The
21. Journey To The Center Of The Earth
20. Baby Mama
19. Semi-Pro
18. Hancock
17. Hellboy 2
16. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
15. Step Brothers
14. Love Guru, The
13. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
12. Pineapple Express
11. Kung Fu Panda
10. Horton Hears A Who
9. Tropic Thunder
8. Role Models
7. Get Smart
6. Burn After Reading
5. Iron Man
4. Changeling
3. My Blueberry Nights
2. Dark Knight, The
1. WALL-E

Thanksgiving Day

I knocked off 4 1/2 movies on Thanksgiving. My ever-depressing friend Oddi brought up a good point: Who the fuck cares about this list?
Answer: Me. So yet again I am posting it. Also, it is a moderately original way of discussing movies (that is, you don't see movie reviewers posting a continually updated list of movies they see over the course of a year).

Anyways, added 4 of the 4 1/2 to the list. Should see the 2nd half of The Love Guru and all of a few others (Wanted) later.

I am going to include one-sentence reviews on this list from now on...

New additions in bold:

22. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Indy + ALIENS - Irony = Hilarious
21. Charlie Bartlett: No, seriously, Indiana Jones had ALIENS.
20. Definitely, Maybe: Indiana Jones definitely had ALIENS, someone thought "Maybe this is a good idea."
19. Incredible Hulk, The: A giant green monster walking around NYC is more believable than ALIENS in Indiana Jones.
18. Journey To The Center Of The Earth: Dinosaurs in the center of the earth but not ALIENS.
17. Semi-Pro: Will Farrell playing basketball... a lot more believable than ALIENS in Indy.
16. Hancock: Charlize Theron ruined this movie but not nearly as damaging as ALIENS.
15. You Don't Mess With The Zohan: Adam Sandler does Borat is a stupid idea, but less stupid than ALIENS.
14. Step Brothers: This movie was funny like ALIENS in Indy would've been if it was actually a joke.
13. Forgetting Sarah Marshall: Forgetting Indiana Jones will take a long, long time.
12. Pineapple Express: I forgot to mention that Indy survived a nuclear blast by hiding in an old refrigerator.
11. Kung Fu Panda: The base that held these nuclear weapons had two guards. Two.
10. Horton Hears A Who: How the Grinch stole Harrison Ford's dignity.
9. Tropic Thunder: I suspect Harrison Ford thought his role in Indiana Jones was sort of like Ben Stiller's in this movie.
8. Role Models: My role models are George Lucas and Steven Spielberg because they can rape Indiana Jones without any major consequences.
7. Get Smart: A great suggestion for George Lucas and Steven Spielberg.
6. Burn After Reading: Burn your Indy DVD after renting.
5. Iron Man: Irony man = Indiana Jones.
4. Changeling: This movie was the 2nd most depressing of the year. Can you guess the 1st?
3. My Blueberry Nights: What kind of kingdom is centered around a crystal skull?
2. Dark Knight, The: ALIENS killed Heath Ledger.
1. WALL-E: As good as Indiana Jones is bad.

Rethinking 2008 Movies

I've been rethinking my 2008 movie ranking list. I think I should make it a point to see every legitimate movie of the year. And by year I mean in terms of the Academy Awards as technically There Will Be Blood would count as a 2008 movie. Thus, I think I am obligated to see all of the top 20+ grossing movies, even if Sex And The City or High School Musical III are among them.
Also, I think 2009 will be more along the lines of me blogging about each movie as I see them and then ranking them accordingly. Perhaps a different blog just for that. I have several blog ideas rolling lately and I am just ambitious enough to take them on.
Anyways, I saw another movie tonight and I have two more lined up for tomorrow if I am lucky so here you go:

17. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
16. Charlie Bartlett
15. Definitely, Maybe
14. Incredible Hulk, The
13. Semi-Pro
12. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
11. Step Brothers
10. Horton Hears A Who
9. Pineapple Express
8. Role Models
7. Get Smart
6. Burn After Reading
5. Iron Man
4. Changeling
3. My Blueberry Nights
2. Dark Knight, The
1. WALL-E

Impressive ranking for Changeling. I think it's a tough call to put it where I did. Movies 5 through 13 are all FUN movies and it's hard to say I would necessarily watch Changeling more times than Iron Man or Burn After Reading. I feel as though I have to keep Iron Man pretty high but Changeling is just too good. Angelina Jolie, who I generally don't care for, was just about perfect. The acting was amazing. The direction was imperfect but still good on Clint Eastwood's part. The story was of course excellent. All in all a great movie. Iron Man and Burn After Reading are no doubt among my favorites for the year so it's hard for me to put a movie like this that I maybe have less of an attachment to ahead of them, but for now that's where it is. I may make changes later on, something I have been discussing all along.

As of right now, the top eight movies on the list are buy-able and the rest is not. While this number may seem a bit high, I would argue that I have generally seen some of the more critically acclaimed or important movies of 2008 thus far, thereby increasing the likelihood of a movie being buy-able. When I start seeing the aforementioned S&TS or HSM3, I think it will change.

On tomorrow's slate: Zach & Miri Make A Porno & Quantum Of Solace.

Last but not least, I revamped the sidebar to your right. I renamed a lot of the sections and broke the link lists in to more organized sections. I am quite confident that this will serve me personally much better than it will serve anyone else as I have no clue what you could possibly want from my links.

Updating The List

Working on starting a second blog. Details to come. In the meantime, here's the updated 2008 movie list. I am forgetting some for sure.

16. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
15. Charlie Bartlett
14. Definitely, Maybe
13. Incredible Hulk, The
12. Semi-Pro
11. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
10. Step Brothers
9. Horton Hears A Who
8. Pineapple Express
7. Role Models
6. Get Smart
5. Burn After Reading
4. Iron Man
3. My Blueberry Nights
2. Dark Knight, The
1. WALL-E

Looking forward to seeing: Kung Fu Panda, Changeling, Zach & Miri Make A Porno, Bolt, Sex Drive, Hellboy II, Tropic Thunder
Not liking what I hear about: Quantum of Solace
Most exciting movie release for me, possibly ever: The Road
Second most exciting in the (very) near future: Bolt
Probably wont get around to seeing: Sex & The City, Voyage To The Center Of The Earth, most chick flicks, most horror flicks, Yes Man, Hancock, Mamma Mia, The Mummy

Also, I still think oscar season will produce the best movie of the year, but I'm content with it being Wall-E which comes out on DVD today.

You're So Vain, I Bet You Think This Blog Is About You

Forgot that I saw Step Brothers awhile back. Tyler got a job in a movie theatre. This should help me see more 2008 movies as they come out. I really need to find a dollar theatre or something. I was doing a good job for awhile keeping up with newer movies... now I'm just waiting on certain movies to come out.
All things considered, I have no excuse for missing Burn After Reading. Maybe I'll go this weekend with Patricia. Hmm...

13. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
12. Charlie Bartlett
11. Definitely, Maybe
10. Incredible Hulk, The
9. Semi-Pro
8. Step Brothers
7. Horton Hears A Who
6. Pineapple Express
5. Get Smart
4. Iron Man
3. My Blueberry Nights
2. Dark Knight, The
1. WALL-E

I'll Make Up A New God And Have A Funky Tea Party Of My Own

Just a few cool things to share today...
Three new cool gizmos for the blog's sidebar which will serve as the lists of the week...

Photos of the 20 or so drawings of jazz musicians I've done:



Photos of the posters or DVD covers from the top 25 greatest movie list from 2 weeks ago:



photos of the 20 albums everyone must own in order to be taken seriously when discussing music with me (aka my 20 greatest album list)



Hopefully tomorrow or the next day I will have photos from the awesome day at work I had today. I got to re-meet someone famous! Woo! With pictures! Wowza! Anyways, that's all I've got. I'm not particularly inspired lately when it comes to the blog.

I Could Dance With You Until The Cows Come Home. On Second Thought, I'd Rather Dance With The Cows Till You Come Home

It's Vinyl Find Of The Week day. At left we have Chuck Willis - The King Of The Stroll. This record is worth about $300 and is in excellent shape. Willis died pretty young so we aren't overly familiar with his work but apparently he was very popular as an early rock/R&B musician. The photo doesn't do it justice but it's a really good looking album, as most Atlantic releases from that time were. I believe I paid something like $5 to $8 for this, so it was a steal at a Marietta Square antique store that normally overcharges for everything they have. Generally speaking I don't pay more than $3 apiece for records unless it's something special and this clearly is something special, especially considering the condition it was/is in. I will probably put this one up on my wall when I finally get to working on my room in that way. I don't have a whole lot else to talk about today so here's a bunch of quotes from the movie "Duck Soup" by the Marx Brothers. As you will see, it is one of the funniest movies ever made and you don't have to watch the movies to appreciate the quotes. A lot of my blog entry titles are some of Groucho's incredible witticisms.

Rufus T. Firefly: I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After you get there you're on your own.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Awfully decent of you to drop in today. Do you realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? What do you intend to do about it? Chicolini: I've done it already. Rufus T. Firefly: You've done what? Chicolini: I've changed to the other side. Rufus T. Firefly: So you're on the other side, eh? Well, what are you doing over here? Chicolini: Well, the food is better over here.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Lieutenant, why weren't the original indictment papers placed in my portfolio? Bob Roland: Why, uh, I didn't think those papers were important at this time, your excellency. Rufus T. Firefly: You didn't think they were important? Do you realize I had my dessert wrapped in those papers?
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Bob Roland: Ambassador Trentino is a very sensitive man. Perhaps if you insult him. He's very easy to insult. Why, I said something to Vera Marcal in his presence once, and he slapped my face. Rufus T. Firefly: Why didn't Vera slap your face? Bob Roland: She did. Rufus T. Firefly: What'd you say to her? [Roland whispers it in his ear. Firefly slaps his face] Rufus T. Firefly: You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Where'd you hear that story? Bob Roland: Why, you told it to me. Rufus T. Firefly: Oh yes, I remember. I should have slapped Mrs. Teasdale's face when she told it to me.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Now, what is it that has four pairs of pants, lives in Philadelphia, and it never rains but it pours? Chicolini: Atsa good one. I give you three guesses. Rufus T. Firefly: Now let me see. Has four pair of pants, lives in Philadelphia... Is it male or female? Chicolini: No, I no think so. Rufus T. Firefly: Is he dead? Chicolini: Who? Rufus T. Firefly: I don't know. I give up. Chicolini: I give up, too.
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Rufus T. Firefly: How would you like a job in the mint? Chicolini: Mint? No, no, I no like a mint. Uh - what other flavor you got?
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Rufus T. Firefly: You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you're out there risking your life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in be in here thinking what a sucker you are.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Dig trenches, with our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. Here, run out and get some trenches. Wait a minute, get them this high [gestures to his chin] Rufus T. Firefly: and our soldiers won't need any pants. Wait a minute, get them this high [gestures over his head] Rufus T. Firefly: and we won't need any soldiers.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth. Chicolini: I'll tell you what I'll do: I'll take five and ten in Woolworth.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Married. I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can't see the stove.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Rufus T. Firefly: I bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Maybe you can suggest something. As a matter of fact, you do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon. Ambassador Trentino: What? Rufus T. Firefly: I, uh, I'm sorry I said that; it isn't fair to the rest of the baboons.
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Chicolini: Now I aska you one. What has a trunk, but no key, weighs 2,000 pounds and lives in a circus? Prosecutor: That's irrelevant. Chicolini: Irrelephant? Hey, that'sa the answer. There's a whole lot of irrelephants in the circus.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I'm sick of messages from the front. Don't we ever get a message from the side? - What is it? Bob Roland: General Smith reports a gas attack. He wants to know what to do. Rufus T. Firefly: Tell him to take a teaspoonful of bicarbonate of soda and a half a glass of water.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it - I hear they're going to tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
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Minister of Finance: Here is the Treasury Department's report, sir. I hope you'll find it clear. Rufus T. Firefly: Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. [to Bob Roland] Rufus T. Firefly: Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can't make head or tail of it.
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Rufus T. Firefly: [to Chicolini] I wanted to get a writ of habeas corpus, but I should have gotten a-rid of you instead.
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Prosecutor: Chicolini, you are charged with high treason, and if found guilty, you will be shot. Chicolini: I object. Prosecutor: You object? On what grounds? Chicolini: I couldn't think of anything else to say. Rufus T. Firefly: Objection sustained. Prosecutor: Your majesty, you sustain the objection? Rufus T. Firefly: Sure, I couldn't think of anything else to say either. Why don't you object?
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Rufus T. Firefly: I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school.
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Rufus T. Firefly: And now, members of the cabinet... Rufus T. Firefly: we'll take up old business. Cabinet Member: I wish to discuss the tariff. Rufus T. Firefly: Sit down, that's new business. No old business? Very well... [pounds gavel] Rufus T. Firefly: we'll take up new business. Cabinet Member: Now, about that tariff... Rufus T. Firefly: Too late, that's old business already. Sit down.
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Cabinet Member: The Department of Labor wishes to note that the workers of Freedonia are demanding shorter hours. Rufus T. Firefly: Very well, we'll give them shorter hours. We'll start by cutting their lunch hour to 20 minutes.
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Mrs. Teasdale: Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Rufus T. Firefly: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
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Mrs. Teasdale: As chairman of the reception committee, I welcome you with open arms. Rufus T. Firefly: Is that so? How late do you stay open?
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Rufus T. Firefly: Just for that, you don't get the job I was going to give you. Chicolini: What job? Rufus T. Firefly: Secretary of War. Chicolini: All right, I take it. Rufus T. Firefly: Sold.
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Mrs. Teasdale: Your excellency, the ambassador's here on a friendly visit. He's had a change of heart. Rufus T. Firefly: A lot of good that'll do him: he's still got the same face. Ambassador Trentino: I'm sorry we lost our tempers; I'm willing to forgot if you are. Rufus T. Firefly: Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets. Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I'd only have to bury them again.
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Prosecutor: Something must be done! War would mean a prohibitive increase in our taxes. Chicolini: Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes. Prosecutor: No, I'm talking about taxes - money, dollars! Chicolini: Dollars! There's-a where my uncle lives! Dollars, Taxes!
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Rufus T. Firefly: [into radio] This is Rufus T. Firefly coming to you through the courtesy of the enemy. We're in a mess folks, we're in a mess. Rush to Freedonia! Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can't send help, send two more women! [Pinky enters and raises three fingers] Rufus T. Firefly: Make that three more women!
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[reporting on shadowing Firefly] Chicolini: Monday we watch-a Firefly's house, but he no come he wasn't home. Tuesday we go to the ball game, but he fool us: he no show up. Wednesday HE go to the ball game, but we fool HIM, WE no show up. Thursday it was a double-header nobody show up. Friday it rained all day, there was no ball game, so we stayed home, we listen to it over the radio.
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Rufus T. Firefly: I'm in a hurry! To the House of Representatives! Ride like fury! If you run out of gas, get ethyl. If Ethel runs out, get Mabel! Now step on it!
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Ambassador Trentino: Have you been trailing Firefly? Chicolini: Have we been trailing Firefly? Why, my partner, he's got a nose just like a bloodhound. Ambassador Trentino: Oh really? Chicolini: Yeah, and the rest of his face don't look so good either.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Go, and never darken my towels again!
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Rufus T. Firefly: Here are the plans of war. They're as valuable as your life. And that's putting them pretty cheap. Watch them like a cat watched her kittens. Have you ever had kittens? No, of course not, you're too busy running around playing bridge. Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you, I love you.
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Rufus T. Firefly: Take a letter. Bob Roland: Who to? Rufus T. Firefly: To my dentist. [Roland writes out the following] Rufus T. Firefly: Uh... Dear dentist, enclosed find check for $500, yours very truly. Send that off immediately. Bob Roland: I'll, um, I'll have to enclose a check first. Rufus T. Firefly: You do and I'll fire you.
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Mrs. Teasdale: Oh, your Excellency! Rufus T. Firefly: You're not so bad yourself.

A Child Of Five Would Understand This. Someone Fetch A Child Of Five.

Well, I did it. I attempted the Gallon Challenge. It was an interesting experience. Of course I did not succeed in the typical sense. I did exceed some expectations. I took down a ton of milk. I didn't instantly throw up (I had to force myself to throw up). Theres are a lot of glorious details to come when we finish editing the video. Right near the end I was disappointed in my performance then I took down a huge glass of milk and it didn't make vomit (as time expired). I couldve handled a little more before my body started its evacuation plan. A few things to whet your appetite: the video won't be too gross (we didn't record most of the grosser parts, but believe me you'll get the idea), the video will be pretty funny, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and could possibly be talked into trying it again. Get excited. No, I don't currently know exactly when it'll be posted.
In other news, after attempting the gallon challenge, we went to see Pineapple Express. This movie was very, very interesting. While walking out of the theater I called it "the best bad movie I've ever seen" and I stand by this statement. It was completely and utterly hilarious. The script was fantastic and there weren't any gaping plot holes. The direction and/or editing were beyond bad, though. I feel like the movie was supposed to exist in a different world than it did. The director went through great lengths to show the world in which these events took place was our own and then constantly had things happen that defied logic. If we're playing by the rules of our world, you can't have events that would make a normal person scratch their head in disbelief passed along as no big deal. This happened the entire movie, whether it was Seth Rogan's relationship with the high school chick, the high school chick's parents' weird attitudes about everything that happens, or everyone in the entire movie never questioning the legality of having weed (including the non-corrupt cops), crazy things happen throughout the entire movie and not too many people acknowledge these things are crazy. Also, the casting director clearly had a better sense of humor than the director. Rosie Perez? Seriously? It would be funny to put Rosie Perez in a movie like this if they wanted to make it funny, but they just had her playing it straight and it took away from things for me. She was awful, as was just about everyone except the two stars. So, in lieu of a solid movie, we have the jokes. The jokes do not disappoint. They pour them on at a great pace that doesn't really let up no matter what bizarre event is going on. This is why everyone and their mother will tell you to go see this movie. It's completely hilarious and most of the jokes are original. Maybe the audience enjoyed the stupid action/falls humor more than the clever humor, but the movie didn't lack in the clever department. All in all, I wasn't disappointed I went to see it. I didn't leave the theater all moist like my friends did, but I'd still recommend it.
It will probably end up being the best movie on the year I wouldn't buy. But who knows, maybe I'll be talked into it. It's certainly a good conversation-piece movie. Oh, and if you like Simon Pegg movies, I recommend this one for you especially.
Updated list of 2008 movies:

12. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
11. Charlie Bartlett
10. Definitely, Maybe
9. Incredible Hulk, The
8. Semi-Pro
7. Horton Hears A Who
6. Pineapple Express
5. Get Smart
4. Iron Man
3. My Blueberry Nights
2. Dark Knight, The
1. WALL-E

25 Favorite (Critically Acclaimed) Movies Of All Time

It's list of the week time, and here we have my 25 favorite movies of all time. I made this list as the Paul version of a film critic's list. In reality The Sandlot and Undercover Brother make my list, but this list is a little more official. There are definitely movies on this list that wouldn't be on others' lists, but they all have a certain degree of social significance greater than a baseball movie about a pwning some kids all summer over an autographed baseball, etc. Anyways, the order is alphabetical and this list took a very, very long time to compile. Thoughts and comments welcomed. Feel free to bitch about movies being left out, etc.

• Adventures Of Robin Hood, The
• American Beauty
• Brazil
• Breathless
• Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari, The
• Casablanca
• Charade
• Citizen Kane
• Double Indemnity
• Duck Soup
• For A Few Dollars More
• Godfather, The (and The Godfather II)
• Kind Hearts And Coronets
• M
• Metropolis
• Modern Times
• Monty Python's Life Of Brian
• Night Of The Hunter
• Nights Of Cabiria
• Notorious
• Raging Bull
• Third Man, The
• Two-Lane Blacktop
• Virgin Spring, The
• Yellow Submarine

In other news, the Gallon Challenge has been pushed back one week due to poor attendance and difficulty of finding a venue to do it. It turns out you can't have someone vomitting all over your living room. Who knew? The good news is we are having an open invitation to anyone who wants to come and because of the change we might get a few more people than we would've gotten tomorrow. Oddly enough, I was the only one pushing for it to be this Friday. Everyone else voted for it to be pushed back. Oh, well.

Last but not least, check out this hilarious site one of my coworkers sent me. Its authentic look makes it even better.

The Worst Review of The Dark Knight You'll See

Wait, someone can't actually write a negative review of this movie, right?
Some quotes from friends about the flick:
"Believe the hype. Dark Knight is as good as advertised." - Rob
"I would have the joker's sick, twisted, demented little babies." - David, err, Private Pierce
"I just had a two-hour orgasm." - Kyle
"I can honestly say right now that it's in my top 10 favorite movies of all-time, and that's saying something." - Kisubika
"I quit my job and dropped out of school so I could devote the rest of my life to masturbating to this movie." - Ryan Simmons

Okay, that last one was made up, but you get the idea. Some people really, really like this movie.

Here's the thing. I liked it, too. There's a lot to like. It's creative to the point that you know it wasn't written exclusively by the comic book people, it's hilarious (the Ledger hospital scene still makes me smile), stylistically it's close to perfection (this and this alone is why most people get so moist over it), it doesn't insult your intelligence, it doesn't parody itself, it's better than Iron Man which everyone loved, and, yeah, Ledger does a damn good job.

But there's a lot to hate, too. I liked the movie more than I didn't, but I feel obliged to bring people back to earth.

First, if Heath Ledger wins an Oscar for adopting a funny accent and licking his lips, the Oscars are dead to me. I'm sure people have won for less, but come on. He was absolutely great, the tics were great, but we're talking about the best supporting actor in the world for one year. Did you see No County For Old Men last year? Javier Bardem won best supporting actor for his Anton Chigurh character that was essentially a lunatic eerily similar to the joker sans make-up, scar and accent. If you take those three things away from Ledger, you don't get Bardem. It's not even close. Ledger gave the performance of his life, he was creative, believable, outside of his regular persona, interesting and just damn good, but he's no Bardem. Unless it's a very weak year for Oscar-type movies this year (and it might be), it can't go to Ledger. Don't forget that most of what we like about this character was scripted. Ledger didn't come up with the absolutely brilliant philosophy behind why the Joker does what he does. He just acted it. We'll talk more about this next January when your loins have stopped tingling.

Second, I don't like Katie Holmes, but why replace her with Maggie Gyllenhaal (sp?) if she improves the character in no way? It was a distraction. Katie Holmes was awful in Batman Begins and Maggie was awful in The Dark Knight. What makes it even more frustrating is that they are both beautiful women in real life who are uglied-up in these movies and then constantly shoved in our faces in a "look how hot she is!" manner.

Third, semi-spoiler alert. Skip to the next one if you haven't seen the movie. Anyways, did the male character that died at the end of the movie really need to die? Obviously he did for this plot line, but they were brewing such a great character for the next sequel! Argh!

Fourth, so let me get this straight... Batman, who clearly has superhuman instincts, has come up with an invention with the help of his Wayne Enterprises people that does submarine sonar anywhere at any time. WHY? He's Batman! He doesn't need an invention that technology tells us cannot exist! It's not like the Bat-suit where we know we'll get to that sort of protective body armor some day or the Batmobile which could probably be built today, it's a technology we have not developed and probably won't any time soon, given to a character, perhaps the only character, that doesn't need it. He uses it for effect one time (to see the people a floor above him). Every other time he didn't really need it.

Fifth, one of my favorite things about this movie is also one of my least favorite things. It's going to be difficult to talk about it without ruining the movie, but I really liked how they didn't force anything to happen in the plot just because Ledger died. I, however, didn't like the way they left that plot line hanging. A little too vague, but I prefer a little too vague to some lame ending done just because Ledger's not going to be able to film a sequel.

Sixth, big spoiler alert here, too. You can't show us a character dying at the hands of the villain and then bring them back to life a few scenes later without a full, detailed explanation. I don't mind movies having fake deaths, it's fine. It's just that we saw the Joker shoot him. Did he just pretend to be dead instead of wounded? That's the explanation? And since we're on spoiler alerts, I guess we can go ahead and assume that the two main characters that stayed dead in this movie will be back for round three. I'm sure we'll find out falls and burns aren't fatal in Gotham. In fact, this problem is the most glaring instance of my least favorite recurring issue: there were a lot of things in this movie that could've benefited by a longer explanation. I don't need to have every single thing spelled out for me, but why are we supposed to be okay with never knowing who Gordon's mole was? They semi-reveal it and then excuse that person? What? Rachel cheats on both guys and this is okay? Huh? Ballet dancers (who in real life are skinny and not top heavy) are the best Bruce Wayne can get? Really?

To conclude I say again: I loved the movie, I just want everyone to keep it in perspective. It's not the greatest thing to ever happen. It's not the best movie of the year (I have it at 2nd, scroll down to see my list from last week and mentally insert it there).

Rest In Peace, Heath. I underestimated you.