I'm on a boat and, it's going fast and, I got a nautical themed pashmina afghan...

I have a new favorite YouTube/SNL video of all time. If you're my Facebook friend or Twitter follower you already know:
The Lonely Island - I'm On A Boat...



I love it with every ounce of my being. The entire range of my sense of humor is reached in some way throughout this video. It's obviously a little stupid but I love the cleverness, the parody, the semi-obscure references, the way it holds up to many popular rap songs, the movements, just about everything.

I have been quite busy. My other blog: scarcerecords.blogspot.com has been taking up a bit more of my time even though it has even fewer readers than this one and is pretty boring.

It's almost baseball season, thank God. A-Roid is guilty and I am very excited for 2009 baseball. College basketball has been a good holdover but Duke, in all of our amazing effort, simply doesn't have enough talent to be atop the NCAA, let alone the ACC. For shame, too, as we almost beat UNC last night.

Movie watching has slowed. I've seen The Uninvited, Last Chance Harvey, Waltz With Bashir, Zack & Miri, Notorious and maybe one other since my last post. Not sure where to rank them yet. Except for The Uninvited which is the 2nd worst movie of 2008 (or does it count as the worst of 2009?)

Record collecting has picked up. I have changed the focus of my collection and now I am looking strictly for high end stuff. It's been fun. I always love redoing my record collection. It is nice to get a new appreciation for something you already have and have spent such an outrageous amount of time and money on.

Been playing baseball a little bit. Thinking about joining a softball league. I figure a softball league will help me decide if I'm terrible at baseball and should thus not pursue a real league league. Plus it will likely be fun.

I have a new boss at work who is the exact opposite of the old boss, for better or worse. It's been very difficult to adjust but I'm getting there.

Was talking about this the other day, top 5 favorite and least favorite sports franchises, in order, just to go on the record. I think I already posted the favorites awhile back, I don't remember...

1. Boston Red Sox
2. Duke Blue Devils Basketball
3. Georgia Bulldogs Football
4. Jeff Gordon
5. Georgia Bulldogs Basketball

1. New York Yankees
2. University Of North Carolina Tar Heels
3. University of Florida Gators
4. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
5. Tennessee Volunteers

Just for shits and giggles, I think I'll also rank every sports team by league in the next week or 2. Here's the NBA:

1. Atlanta Hawks
2. Boston Celtics
3. Houston Rockets (only b/c they have Battier)
4. Detroit Pistons (only b/c they have Iverson)
5. Orlando Magic
6. New Orleans Hornets
7. Cleveland Cavaliers
8. Philadelphia 76ers
9. Portland Trail Blazers
10. Denver Nuggets
11. Oklahoma City Thunder
12. Chicago Bulls (current team, not Jordan team)
13. Los Angeles Clippers
14. Minnesota Timberwolves
15. Miami Heat
16. Golden State Warriors
17. Utah Jazz
18. Memphis Grizzlies
19. Phoenix Suns
20. San Antonio Spurs
21. New Jersey Nets
22. Toronto Raptors
23. Washington Wizards
24. Milwaukee Bucks
25. Sacramento Kings
26. Charlotte Bobcats
27. Dallas Mavericks
28. Indiana Pacers
29. New York Knicks
30. Los Angeles Lakers

That's all. Time to go do stuff. Hopefully youve found something in this post of personal interest. I'm on a boat!

Make That Sixty

All sorts of good stuff going on lately. I interviewed for a new, awesome job (more on that if the news is good). I have been watching a ton of great movies. My college basketball team is unexpectedly the best in the ACC and 2nd best in the country. Their rival is unexpectedly the worst in the ACC. My baseball team just signed an icon from the city I live in (quite possibly the greatest conversation piece ever). Even my personal life has taken an unexpectedly good turn.

It only took a few days but I've seen 10 more movies since the last post. We're up to 60 on the year and another 10 should be coming just as quick (I've had a surprising amount of free time and a lot of people who like doing this crap with me).

60. Happening, The
59. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
58. Eye, The
57. Mamma Mia
56. Jumper
55. Promotion, The
54. Charlie Bartlett
53. Zombie Strippers
52. Drillbit Taylor
51. Definitely, Maybe
50. Incredible Hulk, The
49. Journey To The Center Of The Earth
48. House Bunny, The
47. Baby Mama
46. Semi-Pro
45. The Tale Of Despereaux
44. Hancock
43. Meet Dave
42. Hamlet 2
41. Hellboy 2
40. What Happens In Vegas
39. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
38. Step Brothers
37. Wanted
36. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
35. Love Guru, The
34. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
33. Fools Gold
32. Pineapple Express
31. Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, The
30. Appaloosa
29. Valkyrie
28. In Bruges
27. Australia
26. Happy-Go-Lucky
25. Felon
24. Kung Fu Panda
23. Horton Hears A Who
22. Tropic Thunder
21. Boy A
20. Deception
19. Revolutionary Road
18. Vicky Cristina Barcelona
17. Vantage Point
16. Get Smart
15. Role Models
14. The Wrestler
13. Bolt
12. Let The Right One In
11. Gran Torino
10. Burn After Reading
9. Iron Man
8. Changeling
7. Seven Pounds
6. Frost/Nixon
5. Man On Wire
4. My Blueberry Nights
3. Dark Knight, The
2. Synecdoche New York
1. WALL-E

Finally, The Best Of 2008

That's right, it's the best of 2008. As the coolest person you all know, I feel as though my opinion should be valued more highly than others. And as such we have the best of 2008. These aren't actually opinions though, they are facts. Every statement in this post is as true as the statement "the Red Sox play in Boston" or "Georgia Tech over Georgia was a fluke."

Without further ado... (Some of the subject ideas were stolen from McCluca, so big ups)

Favorite Female Celebrity: Anne Hathaway
The reason Get Smart is in my 2008 top 10.

Favorite Male Celebrity: Clint Eastwood
Changeling? Gran Torino? Still bad ass? Yes.

Top News Moment: Sarah Palin and my subsequent boner.

Top Sports Moment: Game 5 of the ALCS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wAlL988Z_U&feature=related
Red Sox down by 7 runs in the seventh inning facing elimination win the game
2nd place: UGA Basketball wins SEC Championship in staggering fashion
3rd place: Kansas kicks the piss out of UNC in the Final Four (I will no doubt remember this long after I've forgotten every other sports moment of 2008)

Favorite Athlete: Jon Lester... what a year.
By sport: MLB (besides Lester): Jonathan Papelbon, NBA: Mario West, NFL: Adrian Peterson, NCAA FB: Knowshon Moreno, NCAA BB: Greg Paulus (but whatshisface from Kansas who had the monster game against UNC deserves love as does Sundiata Gaines), NHL: Ilya Kovalchuk, NCAA Baseball: Josh Fields & Dean Weaver...

Five Best Movies (So Far - I've seen 45 of them this year which is about 35 more than most of you, but intend to see 100 more):
1. WALL-E
2. Synecdoche, New York
3. The Dark Knight
4. My Blueberry Nights
5. Changeling

Three Worst Movies:
1. The Happening
2. Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
3. The Eye

Best Blog:
"How Hi The Fi?" http://howhithefi.blogspot.com/

Five Best Albums (no order - this is also subject to mass overhaul)
Girl Talk - Feed The Animals
T.I. - Paper Trail
The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
TV On The Radio - Dear Science
Flight Of The Conchords - Flight Of The Conchords

Favorite Hip Hop Song:
T.I. (Feat Rihanna) - Live Your Life

Best Live Band I Saw This Year:
Of Montreal

Favorite 2008 Book Of The Very Few I've Read So Far:
John Hodgman - More Information Than You Require

Funniest Internet Video:
Andy Samberg & Co: Jizz In My Pants (SNL)
2nd Place: Bo Burnham - I'm Bo Yo

Favorite Things I Got Into In 2008 That Don't Necessarily Have Anything To Do With 2008:
Cormac McCarthy, The Office, Flight Of The Conchords, Book Collecting, The City Of Atlanta, Octane Coffee, The Hawks, The Falcons, The Thrashers, cigars etc, and, oh yeah, this blog.

Hopes For 2009: I hope the blog continues to grow and turns into something more interesting. I hope the Red Sox win the World Series, Duke wins the NCAA Championship, UGA wins the BCS, Jeff Gordon wins the Sprint Cup, Love, New Music from Bob Dylan, Sufjan Stevens, DMB... New book by Cormac McCarthy... The movie "The Road" is the best of the year, a high paying job, losing weight, staying healthy, strengthening friendships, seeing more independent films, broadening my horizons further, having time to read my books, making lots of money, figuring it all out and continuing my 24 1/2 year dominance of everything. Happy new year, bigness.

A Survey About 2008

Looking back at 2008
Borrowed this from Phillip who borrowed it from Katy...

Where did you begin 2008?
Gainesville, Florida in a repulsive bar around very few people I still speak to.

What was your status by Valentine's Day?
See previous question

Were you in school (anytime this year)?
Nope

Did you have to go to the hospital?
Nope

Did you have any encounters with the police?
My all time greatest police encounter: I had the police called on me for going to get my stuff back from my ex before the police ultimately decided that I had every right to do what I did and she would've been breaking the law if she'd kept me from doing it. I am not very good at capturing the epicity of this in words.

Where did you go on vacation?
I can't remember any true vacations. Just lots of mini ones.

What did you purchase that was over $500?
Uhh... I can't remember

Did you know anybody who got married?
Didn't go to any weddings this year (except in the 1st week of Jan) but my friend Brendan got married the other day.

Did you know anybody who passed away?
Probably.

Did you move anywhere?
From Athens to Lithia Springs in January. From Lithia Springs to Buckhead in July. Hoping to be there for awhile.

What sporting events did you attend?
A ton. 2-3 Hawks games, at least 10 Braves games, 1 UGA football game, 1 Thrashers game, 2 NASCAR races, 11-12 high school football games, several other random high school games, and probably some I'm forgetting.

What concerts/shows did you go to?
Of Montreal in Athens recently. I'm sure I saw others but it wouldve been much earlier in the year.

Where do you live now?
Atlanta, GA

What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2008?
Oooh... uhh... I'll go with "Enjoy a new Jason Mraz song"

What has/have been your favorite moment(s)?
Game 5 of the ALCS. There is no greater feeling.

What's something you learned about yourself?
I learned a lot about love. Stuff like what really matters in a relationship...

Any new additions to your family?
I'm sure my brother has impregnated a few mexicans that we don't know about.

What was your best month?
June. But I can't say why or else I'll get sued.

What music will you remember 2008 by?
Hip-Hop in general. T.I., Lil Wayne, Chris Breezy... Living in Atlanta has really broadened my Hip Hoprizons. I expanded my Indie tastes too but to a much lesser degree. I'm sure there are some I'm forgetting.

Made new friends?
Actually I've made a ton of new friends. I still don't know how this happened. Most of the people linked to the right for fellow blogs were people I wasn't that close with this time last year. I'm pretty glad about that.

Favorite Night[s] out?
The Of Montreal concert... the night with Tyler and his work friends... and best of all, the night at the Venezias til 4am.

Any regrets?
Always.

What do you want to change in 2009?
I dunno, I did most of my changing in late 2008. I guess I'd like to lose weight and improve my faith but I've been working on those things for years now.

Overall, how would you rate this year?
Pretty crappy. No sports titles outside of the Georgia Basketball SEC championship... Spent a lot of time in relationships that are no longer going... Never overly thrilled with my work situation... I dunno. The year certainly had some high spots, too, but generally it won't be missed.

Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
Friends houses, movie theatres, sporting events, work...

Change your hairstyle?
I keep it short now. That's probably not something I was doing this time last year.

Get a new job?
Yeah.

Do you have a New Year's resolution?
Sort of. Already mentioned it earlier.

Did anything embarrassing happen?
Hmm... probably... nothing comes to mind off hand.

Buy anything new from eBay?
Not as much as last year. Money hasn't been free flowing.

What was/were your favorite purchase[s]?
This laptop is certainly up there. My GPS, my crappy but excellent service phone, all of my books, DVDs and records, my DVD rack (i know, lame), the lunch boxes, everything pertaining to the Red Sox, work clothes, the Wii... I'm forgetting some.

Get married or divorced?
Haha!

Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
I hate everyone who watches this show including members of my family.

Did you get sick this year?
Of course. I'm still fighting off the damn cough from it, too. I'm on prescription meds though so it's almost over.

Start a new hobby?
Book reading/collecting! Also: lunch boxes (even though I only have 6), and then just expanding upon other hobbies... I also slowed/stopped some hobbies (I rarely buy new Red Sox hats)...

Are you happy to see 2008 go?
Absolutely. Anything I liked about 2008 could easily be repeated in 2009 whereas the crappy stuff is stuck in 08.

Drank Starbucks in 2008?
Yes. I love the Starbucks vibe: the music, the mugs, the people... but all of their beverages are awful. Which is why I am addicted to Octane which has all of the better parts of this minus commercialism.

What are you wishing for in 2009?
Red Sox World Series, Duke championship, UGA championship (2010?), love, money, health, the continuation of my favorite hobbies, a new job, Hanley Ramirez in a Red Sox jersey, Mark Teixeira's death... a fantasy football championship, the movie "The Road" to be brilliant, a new brilliant Sufjan Stevens album, Bob Dylan doesn't die... I don't die either.


I'll be back tomorrow with actual Best-Ofs for 2008.

Strange Encounters With Minor Celebrities

It has been a strange week.
Obviously, I live and breathe the Boston Red Sox. I know more about the Red Sox than most people I know and I just about never leave home without a Red Sox hat on my head.
As I do this, I get a lot of attention from strangers who want to offer their two cents on the Red Sox. Generally, I am okay with this, but a lot of times it gets annoying because it usually goes the same direction every single time.
Today, I stopped in an antique store in a part of Atlanta that I almost never visit. The store itself I had never been to and had I had even the slightest better plan for something to do, I would not have stopped, I was just bored and I generally like looking at antique stores.
As I am sifting through books and records a tall African American man approaches me and begins to ask me questions about the Red Sox and my interest in them.
"You a Red Sox fan?"
"Ahh-yuh"
I was not enthused about this particular conversation and I made little eye contact.
"You know a lot about the Red Sox?"
"Yep..."
"Alright..." Here, begins to formulate a random trivia question about the Red Sox that I am already aware will determine how he views me and all white 24 year old men who wear Red Sox hats into random antique stores forever.
He begins... "Who was the hitting coach for the 2004 World Series Champion Red Sox team?"
Now, like I said, I am no bandwagoner. I have loved the Red Sox for a long time. I can tell you the THIRD BASE COACH from that team, the songs that played during the post-game celebration after game four of that team's championship and several other completely inconsequential facts about them. However, for some reason, I did not know who the hitting coach for the 2004 Red Sox was.
"Dave Magadan?" I say.
"Nope, he's the hitting coach now."
"Ah. Crap. I forget."
"I'll give you a hint. His nickname was Papa Jack."
"Uhhh... Still don't know. I'm drawing a blank."
"Ron Jackson."
"Ohh, yeah, sounds familiar." It did sound familiar.
"Alright, who played first base for that team?"
"Doug Mientkewicz and Kevin Millar."
"Second base."
"Pokey Reese and Mark Bellhorn."
"Shortstop."
"Orlando Cabrera"
"Third base."
"Ugh, Bill Muller."
"Alright, alright. Have you ever seen a 2004 World Series ring."
By this time I am pretty annoyed and, again, not paying him much eye contact. "I've seen pictures, of course. I've never seen one in person."
Around this time I turn over towards him. He is holding his hand out and reaching to it with his other hand to remove his ring, a 2004 World Series championship ring.
The ring itself is valued in jewels alone at well over $20,000. The historical significance of THIS Red Sox team and what it means to people like myself make it virtually priceless.
He hands it to me.
I read the name. Ron Jackson.

Just to recap: This man approached me to ask me questions about himself. In an antique store. In Decatur, Georgia. Wow.

I, of course, apologize profusely for not knowing him. Once I stopped being a douche and started taking a better look at him, he looked extremely familiar and if one had asked me what role Ron Jackson had on the 2004 Boston Red Sox, I would have surely answered "hitting coach." Unfortunately for me, that is not how the initial question was phrased.
Fortunately for me, Ron Jackson is an exceptionally nice man. He shook my hand and talked baseball with me for awhile. At one point I went off to the other side of the building to call my father who suggested I take a picture. My phone however is a piece of crap without a camera on it so I was seemingly S.O.L. Luckily, there was a Big Lots store in this bizarro shopping center so I was able to run over and grab a disposable camera for $3 and get back in time to catch Jackson before he left. He was more than willing to pose with me and he again handed me the ring so that I would get to hold it in the picture. Unfortunately I have to take 25 more pictures before I can get this developed and share it with you all, but I could not wait to tell the story.
Jackson went on to tell me a lot of funny anecdotes about the Sox. He works in the Astros organization but definitely knows his legacy was with that team. He talked about his friendship with David Ortiz and offered some very interesting insights to various Red Sox happenings. We talked for quite awhile. One especially interesting part was his story about Kevin Youkilis.
Youkilis is known for his incredible plate discipline but he was never known as a good hitter until he met Jackson. Jackson demonstrated how Youkilis USED to hold his bat and then how he holds his bat now and how it was based on his suggestion. Youkilis has one of the most unique and recognizable swings in baseball and is now a notorious power hitter and MVP candidate. At some point during this part of the conversation I literally looked around as though I was on candid camera. "Is this really happening?"

Looking back at this strange and awesome meeting, it seems even more bizarre. I mean it would be pretty unusual to run into a Braves player or manager or something in this city, let alone an integral part of one of the greatest Red Sox teams ever. He lives in Fayetteville now and was in the area visiting family. For what it's worth, he was very interested in my life and who I was and asked me almost as much as I asked him. Although it is a little unusual to solicit such attention, I cannot sing his praises enough.

If you've seen the title of this blog posting, you may have noticed that I said "celebrities" which is plural. Ron Jackson is not the only minor celebrity I have met this week. The other was a little bit more orchestrated.

John Hodgman had a book signing at my local Barnes and Noble store. You may know him as the PC in the Apple Mac vs. PC commercials. He is also frequently hilariously featured on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and has now written two great books. This book tour was to promote "More Information Than You Require," his latest book which came out in late October. I would have been perfectly content if he had just answered questions and then signed books but he actually spoke for 90 minutes and was utterly hilarious. He told of how he came to become a "famous minor television personality" and was very willing to make fun of any and all audience members. He is unbelievably clever and all in all it was a great pleasure to meet him.
He had made a cameo appearance on the first season of Flight Of The Conchords so I had him sign my Conchords DVD cover. He crossed off the word "Conchords" and wrote "Hodgman."
This followed in a pattern as he crossed off his name on the title page of the book and then signed it beneath. I am a big fan of this type of humor and now a big fan of Mr. Hodgman. Also, having now delved into his book, I have to say it is definitely worth a look-see.

Anyways, I'm gonna wrap this up finally. I saw Kung Fu Panda yesterday so I'm gonna put that in the list:
18. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
17. Charlie Bartlett
16. Definitely, Maybe
15. Incredible Hulk, The
14. Semi-Pro
13. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
12. Step Brothers
11. Horton Hears A Who
10. Pineapple Express
9. Kung Fu Panda
8. Role Models
7. Get Smart
6. Burn After Reading
5. Iron Man
4. Changeling
3. My Blueberry Nights
2. Dark Knight, The
1. WALL-E

I Have A Mind To Join A Club And Beat You Over The Head With It

It should be a crazy busy day today. At work alone I have the following things to do:

• At least one interview for the Fulton paper
• Transcribe quotes for the Douglas and Fulton papers
• Call all four coaches in Douglas to finish up my football preview stories
• Transcribe the quotes from these conversations
• Write the football preview stories (4)
• Write features on one player from each team per aforementioned transcribed quotes (4)
• Write a blog entry for our new website
• Possibly write stories for Fulton
• Collapse

Tonight should be fun. It could be GALLON CHALLENGE day. It hasn't officially been decided that it's today, but personally I don't care anymore, haha, I'm not even going to prepare myself all that much except I'll probably avoid eating foods that will be grosser coming up than going down.

My Red Sox are close to getting Brian Giles for injury insurance. It's nice. It's also nice to see Jason Bay doing well while Manny could face a lifetime ban from baseball if they find out he mailed it in (see: collusion). Jason Bay getting love from his teammates makes me very, very happy.
I'm still unpacking at the new apartment. It's been extremely time consuming and tedious. Everything got jumbled by being in 2 different places and putting it all back together in nice new order is exhausting. I've been sorting through records, DVDs, books, magazines, newspapers and tons of random trinket-y things I've amassed over the years. The living room (home of the records, DVDs and lots of cool posters) looks great now. It took a long time but it finally came together. Now I'm working on my room. I have tons of shelf space which is something I've wanted for awhile. I think it's going to look chaotic, even when it's finished, but at this point the volume of crap I have makes it impossible for me to have a simple, sleek looking room.

Since the week's almost over and I haven't done one yet, here's the list of the week. This week it's "best looking female celebrities." They are in alphabetical order. I love them all (especially when no one's around).

• Ingrid Bergman
• Kate Bosworth
• Tina Fey
• Anne Hathaway
• Audrey Hepburn
• Norah Jones
• Grace Kelly
• Keira Knightley
• Rachel McAdams
• Dagmar Midcap
• Joanna Newsom
• Natalie Portman

Vinyl Find Of The Week, Etc.

Finally able to start my "Vinyl Find of the Week" gimmick. I have no idea why this would appeal to those of you who read me regularly, but this is the crap I care about and some of it is pretty interesting. To kick it off, I went with the record that is the blog's namesake: Buck Clayton - How Hi The Fi. I love the album, obviously. It's only worth $50 which is far less than most of the records that will be on here, but I think my price guide undervalues it. I saw one for sale at Wuxtry Records in Athens, GA for $40 which means it's price guide value should be quite a bit higher. Buck Clayton isn't the most famous jazz musician and I wouldn't call him prolific, but this one is about perfect if you like upbeat jazz. Since moving to Buckhead, I've had a much greater appreciation for my record collection than I've had in a long, long time. It is wonderfully on display in my new living room and there's something majestic about it the way we have it arranged. As I mentioned, a lot of the junkier records are getting sold off so that helps things as well. It's nice to have moments where you appreciate what you have more than what you want. I have these same moments with a lot of my various junk. My roommates agreed that they had never seen a guy with as much "stuff" as me. I can see this making sense, but I'm curious as to what it says about me. Most people seem to think it's a good thing, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it.
Ever since I posted the link to my blog on Facebook, I've been getting quite a few hits. Miraculously I didn't get any comments on my list of 25 favorite movies. I thought that one would garner some sort of discussion. A year or two ago I posted my favorite movies by decade on Facebook and got tons of comments. Oh well.
Work has been stressful lately. I've been doing all of my regular work on time but I've been struggling to get photos that accompany the stories I write that take place outside of Douglas County. I rely on the interviewed subjects to submit photos and they forget or whatever and I'll get phone calls from the powers that be wondering what happened. It makes me look bad and, lately, feel bad. The higher-ups scheduled a meeting at the same time of what might be my biggest local assignment ever (that is, I've recruited several people to show up somewhere to do something for a story and now I won't be there to ask them questions). It's technically not a HUGE problem, but didn't help anything. I've taken on a lot of extra work outside of my coverage area without asking any questions and all of the problems regarding it are probably making me look bad to the higher-ups rather than making me look good for doing thankless work without ever really being asked to do diddley. Oh well again.
On a lighter note, I'm still loving the Jason Bay/Manny Ramirez swap. We lost our first game since getting Bay last night but he still has a hit in every game he's been with us. Meanwhile the Yankees' big trade deadline pitching acquisition gave up a walk-off grand slam yesterday. Gotta love that. I haven't been worried about the Yankees all year, then, right after the All Star break they started catching up, then they almost swept us, then they were right on our heels, then they picked up lots of good players at the deadline, but suddenly I'm back to being comfortable with them. Their pickups weren't very good afterall, their pitching staff is falling apart like crazy, the guys who were having insane months are coming back to earth and they seem extremely beatable. Meanwhile, the Jason Bay Red Sox seem relaxed and relieved to be rid of Manny. I'll take it.

Jason Bay Is My Homeboy

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Destroyah

Had to give this whole thing a trial run. Some real posts coming soon, I hope.